Welcome to Single Moms Monday, I hope this time around I can stick to my own schedule and post regularly at the beginning of every week with blog posts related to being a single mom.
With the growth of Single Moms Indonesia group, I began to see a pattern emerging of questions posted by our members.
“How to be strong?”
“How can I move on with my life?”
“How do you heal?”
All genuinely very valid questions. One that I have asked myself too when I first threw myself fully into this so-called title as a single mother.
I had no one to help me make sense of what was happening in my life…I had no other friends to discuss these questions with.
So to see SMI members came together and answered these questions, my heart melt. The bond becomes thicker as I watch this group grow and expand.
5 Tips for Newly Single Moms:
- There are no 12 steps to be a strong single mom list that will guarantee you will be happy again. No! Why? Because being a single mom is a completely complex journey. There are no magic recipes that will work for every single mom out there. There’s simply no one size fits all.
- Grieve! Seriously, cry if you must cry, shout and scream if you need to. Accept that grieving is an important part of healing. Believe me, you will stall your healing process if you avoid grieving because you wanted to look strong. Grieving is healthy. You are crying over a death. Yes, divorce is a death…the death of a relationship that you thought would last forever. You grieve as your ex-boyfriend who got you pregnant decided to walk out of your life leaving you feeling broken, confused, and pregnant! Please know that those emotions are normal. Feel them, acknowledge them, let them run its course, and washes over you. It is when you block yourself from feeling all the grieve, the anger, the sadness that you dig your own hole.
- Be gentle with yourself. Please don’t blame yourself for what happened that left you as a single mother now. If your marriage ended, it was meant to end. If your boyfriend left you…well, he was never meant to stay in the first place. Stop punching yourself for what has done is done.
- Stop over analyzing things! This is a dangerous trap to start over-analyzing things. Maybe if I lose a few pounds…maybe if I act this way or that way. The damage is done, my dear. Now we need to focus on getting you back on your two feet. Don’t torture your beautiful soul with a million what if’s.
- One day at a time…You could very easily drive yourself mentally if you should worry so much about the future. I am a strong believer that the Universe will provide, we just have to put our intentions out there and do the work. So take a deep breath…take it one day at a time. Stay positive and one day you may be able to look back and smile.
So there you go, 5 tips for newly single moms out there. You are NOT alone. Reach out…lean in…we care for you.